i held back tears at my dad's 60th birthday party
i witnessed my dad smiling as my entire family—me, my brother, my mother, my cousins, my aunt & uncle—wished him a happy 60th birthday.
it nearly made me cry, and it took all of my strength to seal the floodgates.
feelings are sort of weird. men are taught to hide how they feel which i, and hopefully many others, would argue is a bad practice. i believe that it's one of the reasons why men are more susceptible to suicide [citation needed].
as i've aged [wow am i 70-years-old, why am i writing this], i've come to realize [yup i'm definitely 70] the extent to which my father has hidden his feelings. i can only speculate why he's this way which isn't too productive—it'd be better to have an open discussion about life, feelings, and the other canonical late-night discussion topics that'll make you cry as you listen to or open up about untold tales.
i'm always happy to see my father being happy. he's sacrificed so much for me and my brother, and it's thanks to him that all of our dreams are within arm's reach.
when talking to my father during the celebration, he said something along the lines of,
i'm getting old, and before i die, i just want you to be happy.
this made me tear up inside, both in the moment, and in the present as i share his remark in this blog.
so what's the conclusion? the moral of the story?
cry to your heart's content. smile to your heart's content.